Monday, April 13, 2009

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

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Fargo Singles: Have You Found Yourself

Getting to know you means to getting to know yourself, as well as getting to know your potential relationship partner. Before even getting to the point of searching for a life partner, you should be questioning yourself about your values, goals, lifestyle choices, and the type of individual with whom you would like to share your life's journey. As mature adults, we need to have clear answers to these questions before we consider committing ourselves to a serious relationship. I would even go so far as to say that we should be writing down these questions and our answers to them. Writing down your answers allows you to be more honest and thorough; it also allows you to refer back to your answers at any time. Once you know yourself, it is a lot easier to recognize if someone is compatible with you. In evaluating whether a potential partner is right or wrong for us, we have to ask the person questions. The questions should start when you are considering the possibility of having a loving, committed relationship with someone. In the initial stages of a relationship, it is important for both people to be honest and openly reveal themselves. Revealing to your potential partner your answers to the questions you have asked yourself about your values, goals, and lifestyle choices - and, through conversation, learning his or her answers -- can help you both decide whether or not you are right for one other. It is important that both individuals drop their social personas and reveal who they truly are. It is all well and fine to go out and have fun with each other. Having romantic dinners, wonderful sexual intimacy, and experiencing the euphoria of love together is only a small part of what rising, mature love is. Remember, you have to have dialogue and ask the right questions so that you both know that you are right for each other, for a loving, committed relationship.

Do not get me wrong: I am not saying that you need to have the Grand Inquisition with one another. Over time and many conversations, the opportunities will arise for you to ask one another the important questions and get the answers. For example, one of the questions you might have asked yourself and written down is, "Do I want to have children?" If your answer was, "Yes, I definitely want a family," and you find out that your partner is ambivalent about having children, you have a potentially serious problem. Suppose your relationship progresses to marriage, several years go by, and when you want to start a family, your partner says, "I have decided that I really do not want children." All of a sudden, one of your major goals has become threatened. It is quite possible that when you initially discussed children, if you had pushed your partner for a clearer answer, he or she may have said, definitely, "I do not want to have a family." If you expressed how important having a family was to you, you both would have realized that you were not right for one another. The reality is very clear in this example. By not asking the questions, and honestly answering them, this couple has wasted many years in a relationship with the wrong person. If the person who did not want children conceded, he or she could easily face feelings of resentment and regret about doing something that he or she did not want to do. Eventually, the relationship probably would dissolve anyhow. Then we would have two more people divorced, with children caught in the middle. Children are affected by their parent's relationship breakup for their entire lives, influencing their own relationship decisions. This is just one example of many that result in relationship failure today. The reason for these failures: we do not ask the questions, and we do not listen to the answers. We sometimes only hear what we want to hear. When we hear an answer like, "I am not sure if I ever want to have a family," we subconsciously think, "Maybe he (she) will change his (her) mind." We have what is usually the illusion that we can influence a person to change a decision. However, partners trying to change one another do not build a solid relationship. Unless an individual recognizes a particular shortcoming, wants to change, and can put forth considerable independent effort to change, he or she will never change. It all starts with you. Only you can have ownership over your own life. It means questioning and answering yourself as to what is important to you. You must maintain your values, goals and lifestyle choices without serious compromise when you are considering whether someone is right or wrong for you. Communication is one of the most important components of a loving relationship. It is what allows us to rise in mature love with one another. Communication, the dialogue, the questions and the answers, are the key components to answering the questions, "Are you the one for me?" or "Are you not the one for me?"\
-Fargo Singles-

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

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Sunday, December 9, 2007

Fargo Singles: Here the questions to ask yourself.

How to say the right words

To estimate affection, ask yourself, does she try to be helpful?

Is she a good friend?

Does she respect you?

Does she make you feel like a man?

Does she try to show you appreciation with everything she does?

If your answer is no to the last question, then the problems lie elsewhere; but if the answer is yes, then you will let her go because she doesn't know how to say the words?

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Fargo Moorhead Singles: Defining Targets for Singles

We all suffer to some degree from the inability to merge our goals with our behaviors. This is why we break our goals into targets.

Targets are actions or steps that are taken to meet our goals. They are small goals that can be reached in a week or two.

Getting married in the future is a goal, probably a long-term goal. Unless you already have someone to date and potentially marry, however, it seems your first step is to meet someone. That is your short-term goal.

Your first actual step, however, is to get in a position to meet someone by joining a singles group, an online service, a personal matchmaking service, a local non-profit group like Sierra Club, and trying speed dating.

Breaking it down into small tasks, such as the steps necessary to be in a position to meet someone to marry, is targeting.

Often we never get around to those little tasks because they never become targets or tiny goals.
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Fargo Moorhead Singles: Singles Get Met by Goal Setting

At this moment you have no choice but to be exactly where you are. If you are reading this article, you are probably single and unattached or unhappy with your present relationship. Your life is the way it is right at this moment. That is your reality.

The truth is that you can plead and pray and scream and manipulate and pretend and avoid and cry, but it won't force things that are not under your control to be different. This means you can not start where you want to start; you have to start where you are.

Life is full of ups and downs. You had a wonderful date last week-end. You are up! The second and third dates with the same person are disasters. You are down...

Both the "up" and the "down" are the way things are. And that is where you start. Pretending things are different keeps them the way they are, for you make your choices based on wishes rather than reality. When you acknowledge that your life is the way it is, right at this very moment, then you cease putting your energy into wishes. This frees your energy for achieving the life you want.

Acknowledging and accepting where you are does not mean giving up. It puts you in a position to dream and visualize your life the way you want it to be.

Once you have a dream you can create goals. From those goals you create an action plan to get where you want to be. Start with your dreams.

If you could have any relationship you wanted, what would it be? List all your relationship dreams on a separate sheet of paper. Now look at those dreams and answer three questions:
1. Is this my dream or is it the dream of someone for me? Is it my dream to marry the rich and famous or am I carrying over a dream from my mom or from society in general?

2. Is my dream realistic? For example: Is it realistic to dream of having children if I am 45 years old, over 50 years old? Is it realistic to dream of a time-consuming relationship if I am caring for an elderly parent? Is it realistic to dream of marrying someone ten years younger (older) than I am and having it work?

3. Does my dream allow me to start where I am, right now?

From these dreams, you are ready to set goals.

Langston Hughes said a dream that is put off "dries up, like a raisin in the sun." A dream that is pursued with goal setting and day-to-day life can flourish.

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Fargo Moorhead Singles: Have Fun in Groups.

In almost any metropolitan area including Fargo Moorhead, you can find a Volkssport or Sierra Club group. Check them out for the possibilities of meeting singles while walking or hiking.

Hiking events are sponsored by the local Sierra Clubs to raise awareness about the environment and to allow you to enjoy the outdoors while meeting others who also enjoy nature.

They are normally (but not always) held on the week-end and are often followed by a meal.

Single parents are frequently welcome to bring their children if they can walk the distance covered.

Volkssport events are usually 10K, That distance may seem hard for a beginner but won't be hard for long. People do not usually walk in groups at these events. However, you can meet singles by staying around the finish table for a while, chatting and laughing.

We all know meals are a good way to get to know someone. However, it is hard to move around and get to know everyone at a meal.

Not so on a hike. Everyone moves around, walking and talking to different people as the walk progresses. This is a natural and relaxed way to get acquainted.

The combination of the meal and the hike works!!

You usually do not need to be a member of any group to come to these events. A reservation is rarely needed.

In some areas, you may find a singles' walk group or a church group that does or will include walking on their schedule.

If you live in a town without an appropriate walking group, approach a church group and suggest singles' walks. They will be more receptive if you offer to lead the groups.

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Fargo Singles: No your not dead.

You're Single, Not Dead

BUT ... Do you want to be single 'til you're dead?

It amazes me how many people put their life on hold because they're single. They're waiting ... waiting ... for someone else to jump start their life.

There are a few truths that must be faced before anyone will get out their booster cables and hook you up.

1. You must become somewhat interesting before anyone will get interested!

2. Before you can get in a long-term relationship you have to meet someone special enough to share your life and that ain't easy, pal!

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Fargo Singles: Yes it's your Attitude.

Henry Ford said, "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!" Would that apply to singles today? We think so!

Attitudes control behaviors and outcomes. Outlooks become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Your outlooks and your attitudes produce your behaviors.

Positive attitudes and expectations produce positive behavior while negative outlooks produce negative behaviors.

We all perceive life selectively. This means we constantly filter out most of the sounds and scenes around us, allowing only a manageable amount through to our consciousness.

Those perceptions that we allow ourselves then, are those that are consistent with our expectations and attitudes.

In other words, singles pretty much see what they expect to see, experience what they expect to experience, and achieve what they expect to achieve.

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Fargo Singles: How do you meet someone special?

Fargo Singles: How do you meet someone special?

1. There is no wrong place to meet someone.
2. If you don't look for love, you are not likely to find it.
3. Your next lover is a stranger today.
4. Strangers are more likely to be boring than dangerous.

Actually, there are only three ways to meet your significant other:

* Meet by chance.
* Be introduced by someone else.
* Meet in the singles' scene.

1. Meeting by chance is meeting at work, in your everyday life, or where you like to play. You might run into your future love while shopping, running errands, or vacationing. You might meet at work or while participating in a favorite hobby. You are meeting by chance.

2. You might meet by being introduced by friends, relatives, co-workers, or mere acquaintances. Expanding your circle of friends will help. A new circle of friends means potential new people to date. Letting people know you would like to be introduced is also helpful. It gets their creative juices working.

3. Meeting in the singles' scene takes two tracks.

There is the commercial track composed of dating services, matchmaking services, other pay-to-join commercial groups, and personal ads, including those personals on the internet.

There is the volunteer or non-profit track. This consists of church groups and non-profit social groups.

The people who have the most choice and are the most likely to succeed at the meeting game are those who employ all three meeting methods.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Fargo Singles: Top 5 Tips

Fargo Singles Principle 1: No woman wakes up saying god I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today.

No species after bacteria existed on the planet that doesn’t require admiration from the fellow species. Women are on the top of this ladder so not only they want it but also all of it. Did I say women are high on vanity chart (don’t tell your prospect this).

If she tell you that she is going through a very bad time or need personal space or Hitch personal favorite that I’m really into my career right now. What she really meant is get off me now or try harder stupid. Which one is it for you to decide?

Fargo Singles Principle 2: 90% of what you say ain’t coming out of your mouth.

Body language plays a major role initially so try to be better at it. For a fact 60% of all human communication is body language and 30%is your tone so basically 90% of what you say ain’t coming out of your mouth. People keep on preparing and worrying about the 10% of it while neglecting the rest 90%, which play a major role in securing the first date. Work on the 90% and let the 10% be taken care on the first date.

Fargo Singles Principal 3: Beautiful doesn’t know what she wants until she sees it.

Well this is true for all of us but more for those busty beautifuls who until now spend all their faculties on building those curves as elegant as a F1 track. Testimony to that ask Christian Kerembu or Celine Dion. Take your pick whom do you prefer.

Fargo Singles Principle 4: Be what you are, you have something to offer to her which no other man can.

The most common mistake that most guys commit is try to be somebody else to impress the women of their dreams. Most fail at it without guessing so try to be what you are. You cannot use what you do not have, so if you are shy then be shy.

She may not want the whole true but she does want to see the real you. She may not want to see all at once but she does want to see it. So be yourself as she said yes to you when she could have said no.

Fargo Singles 5: Give her space and maintain a vision.

On first date, key is to hang back and give her plenty of space. If she lingers on a photograph move on but maintain vision. Domestic dreams on private time when you are with her be with her. Women respond when you respond to them. Therefore, when she speaks just listen to her as when your turn will come you will have better things to say than I like your mouth. Please stop imagining how she looks naked.

So get off from the couch now and try few of these tonight in the club and have time of your life.